Chores and Responsibilities

Children can be contributing members of the family from early on. It helps them learn life skills, feel capable, and develop responsibility; and frankly, you could use some help!

• Don’t do for a child what they can do for themselves; it robs them of the chance to feel success!
• It takes longer but it’s worth the patience in the long run as they become capable and independent.
• Show them how first. Next time do it together. Then they can do it alone.
• For beginners, don’t insist on perfection, and praise a lot.
• Be clear with expectations. What exactly does “clean your room” mean to you?
• Be consistent. The chore rules should be the same, no matter what mood you’re in.
• Choose their chores by whatever works for you. Mom A doesn’t mind doing laundry, so she didn’t teach her children to do their own laundry until they were leaving home. Mom B hates laundry, and she taught her children to do their laundry when they were 9.

Should you pay an allowance for chores?
 
Yes: It’s easier to get the kids to do chores.  No: They may refuse to do the chores, “I don’t really want the money that much.”  

Yes: They’ll learn money management.  No: They can learn money management if you give them an allowance that isn’t tied to chores.

Yes: They’ll learn the value of work for pay. No: When they grow up, no one will pay them for day-to-day responsibilities.

Chores are part of family belongingness.

• Consider having regular daily or weekly chores that they don’t get paid for, then having extra tasks they can do to earn money.
• Don’t make it too complicated; it will be easier to stay consistent if you have a simple system.