C.H.O.I.C.E.S.

C.H.O.I.C.E.S. for Managing Conflict Command:

Giving clear directions: specifically stating what you want the child to do in a non-humiliating manner:

"Clean up your room before visiting your friend."

Humor or Surprise: Using non-sarcastic humor or doing the unexpected can defuse an explosive situation. Channel kids who are bickering over a toy into a different activity: "Let's pretend we're robots and clean up the family room."

Offer Choices: Giving a choice between two options: "You can _____ or _____" or "When you _____, then you can _____."

Ignore: Choosing not to address the conflict or unacceptable behavior by withholding attention.

Compromise: Seeking a middle ground by finding a solution that partially satisfies both parties: "If you _____, then I'll _____."

Encourage Problem Solving:

Working together to explore the disagreement, generate alternatives, and find a solution that satisfies the needs of both parties: "What can we do to meet everyone's needs?"

Structure the Environment: Rearranging people, room structure, or objects to reduce conflict: separate kids who are fighting in the car by moving them to different seats.

Taken from: Beekman, Susan & Jeanne Holmes. Battles, Hassles, Tantrums, & Tears: Coping with Conflict and Creating a Peaceful Home. New York: Hearst Books, 1993. Page 90. Please don't hesitate to call Monique Collins with any questions at 770-486-2734.